June 2nd - Thorpe Park Adventures.

Started off the day at a lovely time of 8AM, rolled out of bed and freshened up then gave my mum a ring to make plans for the day, Thorpe Park was on the agenda so I was ringing to make sure the plan was in motion, had a bowl of cereal (cinnamon "somethings" ftw) got picked up at around 9am and the journey began!

We hit traffic which was lame and the radio in the car was awful, had a little nap and arrived to Thorpe Park at some random time early afternoon ish, gave my old boy Frank a txt to see what he was up to he replied and I quote "I got Pearl Harboured" and was waiting for the police or something, which is always funny, poor fella got twatted by some foreign kid last night and got a black eye, Tom was there but just watched, I think it was payback for the time Tom got headbutted by the ginge in the regal and Frank just watched, payback's a bitch! haha anyway I wished him well with his black eye and rocked up to Thorpe Park!

The first ride we queud for was the Nemesis Inferno (see pics) The queue was hectic and lasted nearly an Hour, I chilled in the sun and waited patiently and texted a few pals out of boredom in the line, until some excitement occured...this one lass, an hour in, decided to feint in the queue, I kinda felt bad for her mother who was scrambling to carry the floppy lass (aged 16ish) out of a hour long queue, I looked over and thought to myself "man I should help this woman" but then the little devil on my shoulder was all "quit your jibber jabber, you aint hurt" and I didn't want to lose my spot in the queue so I just watched, feeling a little bad inside. Another half hour passed and we were finally on the ride, if you've not encountered the Nemesis Inferno let me fill you in on what it is, it is a rollercoaster based on a Volcano, it leaves the station and climbs up a slope before diving into a downfall and loop the loop and various twirls and swirls, pulling a nice 4.5G.

Cool Fact : The Nemesis Inferno was featured on an episode of our much loved program "The Inbetweeners"

After the thrill of the Nemesis we decided to tackle the "Stealth" (video below) roller-coaster, and I have to admit this one was my favourite of the day, let me introduce this beauty if you've yet to encounter it, this roller-coaster it the fastest roller-coaster in Europe and only lasts an awesome 15 seconds, don't let that put you off, the amazing thrill of pulling 0-80 MPH (130km/h) in 1.9 seconds as an amazing take off before scaling the 205ft (62m) arch and twisting 90 degrees on the descent and tackling the "Bunny Hop" (little hump in the track) which produces the feeling of weightlessness before coming to a smooth finish at the end of the track, for a ride that takes an hour to queue for and 15 seconds to ride I have to say the sun burn was most definitely worth it. Sometimes the cart doesn't make it up to the top of the arch, however it IS designed to safely roll back down if it doesn't make it over. The video below shows how the ride goes.

After that we regrouped with my mum and the others kids, we queued a nice ten minutes and rode some water ride, sitting in a big round raft-like thingy (excellent description, I know) which bounced calmly around a course, got a little wet but nothing major, it was a relaxing ride.

The girls and mum went to ride the Zodiac and some other spinny twirly rides, me and John went to ride the Colossus which is the worlds first roller-coaster with 10 inversions pulling a nice 4.2G the queue was only small and lasted like half an hour, I think this was because when we first arrived the ride was not open due to a malfunction or some lark, anyway we finally got inside and hopped into our seats, John strapped in and I pulled my bar down to lock and reached for the extra belt thing you have to lock in place before take off, sadly I picked a naff seat with a short belt which wouldn't reach, the angry black man yelled at me "dude you gotta get out" so I did, and asked if I could wait for the next run and sit in a more adequate seat (for the fats obv) and he was all "nah man" I was all "What the Geoff!?" so sadly missed out, John said it was a bloody good ride though,

I then left the others and went to watch some EXTREME bike show, Three lads on motorbikes doing jumps and flips and wheelies and the lark, general EXTREME biking! lasted about half an hour and was pretty decent to be honest.

The others were queued up to go on the massive log flumey ride, so I waited and took pictures as they hurtled down the final slope and got soaked, we then had a little break with food and drinks before making our way back to the car, the journey home wasn't too bad, the traffic was pretty horrific but we had "now 72" I think or one of those random compilation CD's so I had a little sing along,

I got home at about 10pm and rocked up to my grandparents house where all the family (dads half) where having a get together/BBQ, managed to snatch up some left over food and a cool can of Cola, sat in the garden and had a little catch up with the family.

All of the kids decided they were staying over so my older sister Emma ended up making up 8 or so beds for random stragglers who were wanting to sleep over, Harry and Alfred were quick off the mark and Shotgunned the two beds in the room whilst Evie and Elizabeth were condemned to the floor,

I had 2 shots worth of Mickey Finns (Apple Sours) so treated my already hammered step mum to a shot before her and my daddio hopped in a taxi with two of the kids.

Everyone has gone to bed and I am the last one, I think I have been left with the sofa for tonight but eh, I am easy like a Sunday morning.

All that is left to do is apply some major after-sun to my pink face and back of neck, all that queuing in the sun fooked with my pretty face.

All in all was an awesome day, if you managed to make it to the end I thank you and god speed x