Friday, 23 December 2011

The Death of a Friend.

It's been a while since I last posted, about the wonderful SponsoredTweets, since then I've earnt a few dollars here and there with advertising which is pretty decent,

A good friend of mine kicked the bucket last week and I was heartbroken to say the least :/

So yeah, what will happen now that little daft sod, the 'supreme leader of North Korea' is no more? I for one do not know, personally I don't all care that much, North Korea has always brought many a 'lol' to my life.

A few pictures first? to set the mood!

Dang this guy was one sexy mofo!

Kim in his better known role!

Anyhow, Some people believe this guy is a hero, scholar, gentleman and true inspiration...I on the other hand just think he was a tool, I mean you should not speak-il (puntastic) of the dead but it's just what I feel in my heart.

Let's look at a few examples which back my thoughts of major douchery conducted by this man/thing. I really don't know where to start so I will approach this in a random manner.

To kick off let's look at his 'Titles', he had over 50 of them, the best ones include: Guiding Star of the 21st Century, Brilliant Leader, Commander-in-Chief, Guiding Sun Ray, Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love, Party Center, Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander, and Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have.

So...this one time the poor bastard fell off a horse, he hurt himself (aww diddums) and had to take some pain killers to help ease his pain...this is standard, oh wait what? oh that's right because he thinks he is a big shot he ordered a handful of his staff take the same medication. He also made the horse take the pain medication – and his dogs..Is this guy foreal? Oh dear...

Let's carry on,

Kim Jong-Il's official bio at various times claimed he was the world’s greatest golfer, saying he nailed five holes-in-ones on his very first round! Another talent of his was that he could control the weather with his mood, wouldn't that be so fucking sweet to be able to do that? The best part though (and the silly NK sods believed him?) was that he did not defecate. Ever?!  That’s right.  He never pooped – not once in his life.  He was the first non-pooper in human history.   And his urine?  Well, they say it was gold, pure gold.

So is it him who is the douche or everyone who believed this bullshit?? There's more...

The the supreme leader of North Korea was somewhat obsessed with Katy Perry. (understandable right?)  It's been reported that he would often dance around his palace singing to Katy Perry in his beautiful little voice. He sent her a ton of love letters, I guess she just laughed and binned them? He wasn't pleased so sent a North Korean spy team to England to steal her away from Russel Brand.  They never made it – and instead defected to Portugal. He was livid.

Oh listen to this too...

One of his unofficial titles was The Central Brain.   He often said that his brain was ten times bigger than Einstein’s and told sources close to him that President Obama’s brain was the smallest of any leader on the planet.

So do you still think he is a top guy?

Here's some other random shit about that guy:
  • In 2004, Kim Jong-Il claimed to have invented the hamburger
  • Kim Jong-Il once attempted to ship all the short people out of North Korea
  • Kim Jong-Il's favorite movies were Friday the 13th, Rambo, and Godzilla
  • Kim Jong-nam, the oldest son of Kim John-Il, was originally going to replace his father but lost his chance after a "botched attempt" to visit Japan's Disneyland
  • Kim Jong-Il was actually born in Siberia, making him Russian 
  • Kim Jong-Il's biography claims his birth was "foretold by a swallow and heralded by a glorious double rainbow and the appearance of a new star"
  • Kim Jong-Il planned to breed giant rabbits to solve North Korea's hunger problems
  • When he was forced to give up cigarettes for health reasons, Kim Jong-Il forced the entire country to do the same - effectively banning them
  • Kim Jong-Il reportedly injected his body with the "blood of virgins" in an effort to stay young, guess that didn't work?
I guess when I think about it I love the guy for the laughs he has brought me, deep down though he was a douche, but like all deaths I wish his family and friends well, may he rest in peace,

God speed.

1 comment:

  1. He called himself the Party Centre? I wish I'd got to know him better.