Myself and a few friends were chilling one morning, it was a friends 21st birthday, sadly the old bastard had an exam at uni at 9AM or some lark, so we let him go and on his return cracked open a bottle of bubbly and a pack of cigars, we are classy you see.
It may just be us but do cigars make you dribble? I mean I wasn't too bad but a friend was dribbling like a ...I am trying to be politically correct here, so what's the word?...retard?
Anyway moving on, we were watching the TV and saw an advert depicting old Olympic games where people were doing some pretty old-school activities, tug-of-war, jumping through barrels and other events, as soon as the advert ended we looked to one another and pondered the question, why and when did they decide a tug-of-war wasn't good enough to qualify for an Olympic sport and why did they get so serious..
We then sat there listing "Events" we would have if we could make the Olympics fun again,
A few ideas were tossed about and I am about to list a few we talked about and a few ideas of my own and suggestions from friends:
Tug-Of-War - An old favourite sadly only running from 1900-1920, stubbed out in its youth. This sport is a wonderful sport, I mean if you suck at a lot of sports what way to prove yourself better than dragging those dirty Germans through mud on a piece of rope...bring it back I say.
Beer Pong - This sport is amazing and in America is common practise throughout college life, sadly it is not as big over here but I do like to see myself as a semi-pro at the sport, I guess it cant be involved because it involves alcohol? eh fuck it, its MY Olympics and I vote Beer Pong!
Egg and Spoon Race - Admittedly this may be an English thing, but pssh it's OUR Olympics so we can make what we want of it.
Ladder Racing - Oh boy, saw a random video on YouTube sometime and it was literally a race up a ladder, the idea of the event is to get to the top of the ladder first. I feel it would provide sufficient excitement and entertainment to include as an Olympic event.
Cheese Rolling - Well I am sure us GB'ers will do well with the success of the Cotswold's cheese rollers..Aim of the game you ask? Cheese is rolled down a hill (preferably "Double Gloucester") and participants throw themselves down the hill after aforementioned cheese, the prize is the cheese itself! However that was 200 years ago, this day and age hundreds of people do it for the laughs and the excitement of throwing themselves down a hill in a race against other maniacs craving cheese! I really do not feel there is much strategy to this just training which I would assume consists of learning to take a battering and to roll down hills?
Shin Kicking - Simple game, shove as much straw as you can into your trousers to protect your shins then have at it with another contender kicking them in the shins until they fall, first to make the other fall 2 out of 3 wins, they then move onto a new challenger. There isn't really a way to WIN as you compete until you lose, however an Olympic version I guess would be last man standing?
Conkers - Old childhood favourite, Two contestants..Two conkers on string taking it in turns to strike one another's until one smashes! Very exciting as you can imagine! Strict rules must be enforced to prevent the hardening of conkers for profitable results!
There were many others but I am lazy,
If there were any sports/events you would love to see in the Olympics do let me know! The crazier the better..