Thursday, 19 February 2015

The Dream of a No Name C...

Had a crazy ass dream last night. You came to Sydney to join my adventure then for some reason we hired a small yacht because we know how to sail?) and sailed out to sea and around some islands and beautiful beaches, snorkeling with giant rays and playing underwater drum solos on poisonous jellyfish and other random debauchery. After a day exploring we had no idea where we were, we had no signal on our phones so just floated towards what we thought was homeward, two fellas in their 20's rocked up on home made raft/boat kinda like water world stylee and they introduced themselves as 'pirates of the Caribbean' they asked if we wanted to go and explore more places with them but you gave me the 'these guys are dodgy as fuck, let's get outta here' look so we said 'thanks but no thanks' and sailed off in the other direction. We spotted a group of 20-30 men swimming from one island to another so decided to follow them, they had been working on an island mining or some crap and were swimming to next island to set up camp and rest for the night. We parked up the boat and I went to say hi. After about five minutes of chatting I hear you screech 'will the boats gone' we both have a little breakdown because all our clothes, belongings passport etc (probably hadn't figured it was a dream still or I don't think I would have cared?) those pirates we turned down earlier had only bloody gone and made off with our vessel! We were stuck on this island with no clue where to go then one dude told us about a cave which would lead to mainland, so for whatever reason we trusted him and headed through this cave.

This is where it gets a bit weird, weirder than it already is. Just as we exit the cave we are met by a beautiful beach, the sun is shining but the place is empty and has an eerie feel. We have a look around then are ambushed by a small group of Nazis who try to take us in. I take one to the floor with an uppercut to the jaw. Then I'm hit with a baton and fall off the cliffs edge into a fast flowing river, as I'm dragged away by the current I just see you getting taking a baton to the face and then carrying your motionless body away. Thirty or forty minutes I must have been gasping for air and barely keeping above the water until I get washed up on a little bay by this amazing looking house, it looked like a rubiks cube, as I approached I saw a man jump off his balcony and into a hole in the ground. A green bush droid (it was like a robot but clearly a shrubbery of some sort) sprinkled some magic dust which covered the hole with a pretty little bush. I snuck into the house and had a little nosey. There were gadgets and gizmos a plenty; huge TVs, crazy sound systems, an insane gaming station and there was a room with 'do not enter' tape covering it top to tail. Of course I entered.The room had 3 giant chalk boards with mathematically scientific scribblings and there were a couple of devices laid on the table with nuts and bolts and random bits of wiring and parts scattered on the work bench.

I heard the front door go, so hid in the closet. The guy must have been some sort of wizard because I heard him walk through the house and right to where I was, opening the door he said "I've been expecting you Will" I was thinking to myself 'what the bloody hell is this tomfoolery'. He explained how he had been developing technology to see into the future and he also had a prototype time travelling device but it was a bit iffy still and would take another day to perfect. Which gave me time to look for you. I asked the man where these Nazis would be taking you and he said they would be shipping you off to some place overseas to be a working girl, he also said that his bushdroid would take me to the port not far from here where they should be docking. We left immediately and arrived at the port in no time, I began to ask around for you but nobody seemed to know anything, or if they did they didn't want to say. I approached the last boat on the port hopefully this bloke would know something. Just as I was about to speak I felt a strong hand being placed on my shoulder. I turn around to see a Nazi general standing about 5"3 all suited and booted. He yelled some crazy words to the man by the boat who hastily unroped the vessel and gave the order to set sail. The general pulled out a pistol and told me to go with him, I jumped for the gun elbowing him in the face, we both fell into the water still wrestling for the shooter, after about 30 seconds of back and forth punches to the face I manage to wrestle free the gun and shoot the man through the shoulder blade. I dragged him onto the docks and demanding ' where is she!' In a batman voice (yeah that happened) he told me you were on that ship that just left.

I commandeered a little speedboat and made way to save you. I got on board and like metal gear solid managed to sneak through all the patrolling guard before finding you in a boiler room below deck. I disabled the engine and broke a few of the gas lines in the ship so it became a ticking time bomb. We ninja sneaked out onto the outer deck, hopped into one of the rescue dingeys and let it drop. It took me about half hour to row us to land you were just a shaking mess in the bottom of the boat,  bush droid was waiting on the shore to take us back to the scientists house. By then he had fixed his time travel device, it had enough power to perform one travel, he handed us a pistol with a silencer and said we would be taken back to when things were under control and that all we had to do when we arrived was kill our duplicates and then carry on as usual.  We arrived at one of the first beaches we visited, it was mostly empty so we followed ourselves into the trees and each popped a single bullet into our own heads, we buried the bodies under the sand and just hoped no one would find them. We took our boat back to Sydney and it was barely noon. Oh what a day..

Its weird how I remembered the whole damn thing. And I wasn't even on any drugs or drinks...

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